My Social Anxiety

My social anxiety
So as most of you know me as an over the top say anything, do anthing kinda guy.
Well thats me in the comfort of the friendship bubble. The Bubble that surounds you and your friends when you are together. The one that you know no matter what happens or what people say they will be there for you. That bubble.
When I would go out in the world I was the complete opposite. I would just wait patienly in line looking staight ahead trying to be invisable. When I would have to pay for something or speak face to face to some one i would get a knot in my throat and get all flustered. When someone asked me for my ID I would visibly tremble like I had parkinsons.
I would also start sweating just thinking about having to talk in a group or to a person about some issue I was having. I avoid confrontation as much as possible not just because I am a passive guy but because in a small little argument my heart feels like its gonna jump out of my chest.
I had a horrible time talking to women unless I was thier friend(which is had to do if you can't talk to them in the first place). I stummbled al over my words, not even useing the right words then silence, uncomfortable silence. Well at least uncomfortable for me.

Yes. Yes I have changed. I have changed back to the way I used to be. The one that knew everyone liked him, and if they didn't, fuck um they need to lighten up and move on with life. Now I don't mind striking up conversation with the random stranger about something stupid. I don't mind meeting new people(I still suck with names though). I don't feel nearly as nervouse talkin with women and have alot more confidence about it. In argument or general diagreements, Go ahead yell and scream it only makes you look like a jackass and still doesn't change the fact that I did nothing wrong, your just a tool that overreacts.

And for these changes back to the way I was I have to thank a few people that helped me see the light just by being them.

On my last trip to Portland my best buddy Brian [IMG]http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r49/burkman3333/100_1897.jpg[/IMG]told me how much he aprecciated my out goingness when we first met and became such close friends which led to me introducing him to the love of his life that he has been with for 13 years because of it.[IMG]http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r49/burkman3333/100_1933.jpg[/IMG]

And to Matt Teske who called me up and offered me a spot at the Portland Import Motion carshow since original plans fell through. [IMG]http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r49/burkman3333/100_1926-1.jpg[/IMG]Not because I would win or had a Teske design sticker but just cause he is a great outgoing person that makes you feel like you have been friends for ever just after talking to him for a few minutes.[IMG]http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r49/burkman3333/DSC_0087.jpg[/IMG]

To Cory Burns for being the crazy, lovable, funny guy that he is.[IMG]http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r49/burkman3333/100_2009.jpg[/IMG] That goes on road trips with buddies to mexico to find the best nacho's at the international nacho festival. I man that makes friends in every city he has to fly to. He truly has inspired me.

To all of my Scion friends, thank you. Thank you for being part and letting me be a part of the wierd, odd family that is the Scion community. For makeing a person feel welcome right away and for that I thank you.

I thank everyone that I know, have met and will meet on my journey of life.

Jason B.